6 Ways Parents Can Support College Student Mental Health

This story is about suicide. If you or someone you know is at risk of suicide, please call the US National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255, text HOME to 741741, or go to SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for resources additional.

When the news broke that 22-year-old Stanford football star and senior Katie Meyer died by suicide last week, it was a heartbreak to parents who understood what Katie’s mother, Gina, meant. , when she said she was having “a parent’s worst nightmare” in her interview with NBC News’ Stephanie Gosk on TODAY.

Especially terrifying for parents: Meyer told Gosk that she and Katie’s father had no red flags leading to his death and that she had been in good spirits on FaceTime with them hours before.

Katie’s death leaves questions about what parents need to know about mental health support on campus and how they can support their children in college, especially now that students seem to be struggling more than ever.

Related: Katie Meyer’s parents speak out after her death

According to the latest Healthy Minds Institute data report from Winter 2021, 41% of students surveyed reported moderate or major depression, and 13% said they had had suicidal thoughts in the past year.

We asked experts in the fields of mental health and higher education for their thoughts on what parents can do.

1. Start working on self-defense skills early

Think about the skills people need in college before your kids get into college, Myrna Hernández, vice president of student affairs at the College of Wooster in Ohio, told TODAY Parents. “While they’re still in high school, figure out what your child is dealing with, whether it’s academics, mental health, or anxiety,” she suggested.

“Then start building their self-advocacy skills,” she said. “Ask them, ‘What do you want to do about it and how are you going to achieve it? to be able to speak for themselves.

Read more: TODAY’s guide to young adults and mental health

2. Learn about mental health resources

When visiting college campuses, parents and students should ask about mental health services the same way they would ask about meal plans or internship opportunities, experts said — even if their students have never needed mental health support in the past.

Know who to contact in case of a problem. Know where the student health center is. Know how to find mental health help and make sure your college kids know too. At Wooster, for example, Hernández said the school has an “early warning system” in the form of a university “care team” made up of students, faculty and staff. staff who can follow up if someone alerts them with concerns about a student. .

Wooster offers counseling services through its Student Wellness Center, but Hernández noted that those services might have a wait time. She said Wooster and most colleges and universities also have emergency mental health support available 24 hours a day, seven days a week — which is important for students to know.

Other questions to ask colleges: How long do students typically wait to see a counselor? How many sessions are they given before they have to seek help outside of the university? What kind of support does the university provide if they need to find a private mental health provider?

3. Consider legal release forms

What many parents don’t realize is that once kids are over 18, privacy laws limit colleges in what they can tell parents about mental health. of their students.

In some cases, parents may want to submit documents signed by their students, which will give the college more freedom to tell them if their children are suffering from a medical condition on campus, whether mental or physical. These forms may include a medical and/or financial power of attorney as well as HIPAA authorizations.

“If a student welcomes this, it’s not a crazy thing to have, just in case,” said Dr. Sarah Cain Spannagel, licensed clinical psychologist and faculty member at Case Western Reserve University.

“My mom sent me off to college with a Tupperware with things like a little sewing kit in it,” Spannagel noted. “Did I use any of these things? No. They sat in a storage block in the corner of my dorm. But I had them if I needed them; and it’s really no different, if it makes sense to everyone involved.

4. Talk about mental health and have a plan

When a child goes off to college, the dynamic between them and their parents changes, Hernández said — and communication is important.

Once a student has been on campus for a few weeks, “Ask them, ‘Who besides your friends supports you?'” she said. “Make sure they can point to someone. Even a single connection, like a coach or a professor or someone from the academic resource center is enough, but they have to be connected to someone.”

For students who received mental health support in their hometown, a “direct continuity of care plan” is also essential, Spannagel said, and not just in terms of counseling or medication.

“Whatever personal care your child takes at home, it has to accompany them in some way through college,” she said. “If they have a gym membership at home and working out helps relieve their stress, make sure they know where they can do it on campus. nails every week, so they should.”

5. Work on noticing instead of judging

Spannagel advised parents to stay in regular contact with their kids in college and insist, sometimes, on hearing their voices or FaceTiming so they can see what they look like. However, she warned that parents should be “observers” when watching their children and not judge them.

If they are grumpy from lack of sleep or not eating enough, instead of criticizing them, be aware and notice if a child seems to be eating, exercising or sleeping more or less than usual, has she declared. Significant changes can be an early warning signal that something is wrong. A big say a student might need help with, Spnagel said: any mention of desperation.

Spnagel also said that while students need their independence, it’s okay for parents to decide to take something off their child’s plate.

“If you have to pick up their medicine from the pharmacy and mail it to them at school, who cares? ” she says. “There are a million other opportunities in college to be independent. If they need you to do that one thing to keep them on track, that’s OK.”

6. Tell your kids they’re not alone if they’re struggling

Samantha Arsenault Livingstone is an Olympic swimming gold medalist who battled depression and now works as an educator and mental health advocate. She knows all too well the perfectionism and pressure that Katie Meyer’s parents mentioned in their TODAY interview, for both top athletes and the average person.

Going to college as an elite athlete, she would have benefited from knowing that “other people struggled as well,” she told TODAY Parents. “I completely believed that I was the only one. Even after all my achievement, I felt like an impostor, and that for me was the driver into the depths of depression, into this dark, dark space, because I had felt like I would be found out if I revealed some kind of struggle.

Livingstone noted, “We don’t need a diagnosis to be able to talk about anxiety. Sometimes children feel they need permission to feel what they feel.”

Hernández said the mental health crisis among students is “generational,” not just a byproduct of the COVID-19 pandemic.

“We must remember that it is getting worse now, as not only are students dealing with the disruption caused by the pandemic, but they have also grown up in schools with the anxiety and stress of active shooting drills and thinking to their personal safety every day just at school in general,” she said.

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