FARIDABAD: “All I want is to be the real me. All I want is to shine as bright as the younger me,” reads a note in a diary, in which a schoolboy took refuge in the vicious bullying of some of his classmates for years, pushing the tormented teenager into solitary confinement.
The diary was discovered by his mother in their Faridabad apartment on Friday, a day after the 16-year-old jumped to his death from the top floor of his housing company. “This school killed me,” the boy wrote in a letter he left for his mother Thursday night, saying he was sorry and telling her she was “the best mom on the planet.”
His mother, who teaches at the same school, two uncles and an older cousin the boy confided in told TOI on Saturday that he fell victim to the “toxic masculinity” of a few teenagers who made fun of his interests such as jewelry design. and nail art.
“Bullying for years gave him school phobia”
They allegedly mocked his interest in jewelry design, nail art and poetry since he was in class 6 and continually targeted him with homophobic slurs. In his diary notes and conversations with his cousin, the boy, who was dyslexic, said he still felt like a “stranger”. In a poem he titled “Alien”, he put words to this agony. The bullying also continued beyond the classroom, online, which he had revealed to his cousin.
The diary was part of several notebooks, with poems and “personal notes” written in several of them, which her mother found after her death. On Saturdays, the notebooks lay on his wooden bed, unfinished decor on the gray wall behind him where the layers of pastel were still fresh. He was doing his landscape on the wall when his mother last saw him on Thursday evening. “He was a talented child. He didn’t deserve this. He’s there, in those drawings and those poems. I wish I had read them sooner,” his mother said.
Being asked to ‘prove’ his masculinity was a taunt he often faced at school, said the boy’s cousin – a third-year student. “He had grown used to bullying. His art and poetry were his outlets. He would sometimes pour out on me. The same kids, who in grades 3 and 4 made fun of his dyslexia, targeted him on sexuality. “He’ll call me and tell me he doesn’t even know what homosexuality is. But he was fighting it all. But the sexual assault had a profound impact on his psychological health,” she said. declared.
The sexual assault, which his mother said she raised with the school in an email last August after learning about it, allegedly happened before the March 2020 lockdown. “After a physical education lesson, he had gone to the bathroom and four boys followed him.
They locked the restroom, blindfolded her, tied her hands, and plugged her ears. They asked her to perform a sexual act. When he refused, they pulled his pants down. They even threatened that if he spoke they would sexually abuse me,” his mother said on Saturday. “These boys who bullied him, insulted him and even said he was the reason I divorced killed him. And the school authorities, who despite my repeated complaints did nothing, helped them kill my son,” she added.
Frightened and traumatized, the boy did not reveal any of this to anyone, not even his mother. But this plunged him into clinical depression. During the lockdown, while classes were online, he had a break, according to his cousin. Months away from school helped the teenager, who had developed a “school phobia”. He started seeing a therapist, which helped him cope with his panic attacks. It took her more than a year and several counseling sessions to finally tell her mother about the sexual assault incident at school, her family said.
“He never wanted to go back to that school again. He was so grateful for Covid because the schools were closed. And just as the school was reopening he was telling me he was nervous to face those bullies” , said the boy’s friend, a resident of the same Faridabad company who studied in the same school until 2020.
The impact of this on his mother weighed heavily on his mind. “He used to tell me that he felt guilty that his mum, who is a single mum, was going through a lot because of him. It all made him feel even more like he was getting her into trouble. “said his cousin.
But the thought of going back to school filled him with agony. “In his little room, he had built his world. The kitten (his pet) made him complete. We were happy to see him finally happy and coming out of depression. He was responding well to therapy sessions. He ended his life just as the students were starting to come in,” says his maternal uncle.
The boy’s parents and friends have launched an online campaign to demand justice for him. “It was a preventable incident. We keep hearing that big schools have mental health counselors and are sensitive to these kids and their issues. But here’s a classic case of ignorance. Teachers knew he was a victim of intimidation and yet have chosen silence. I will not do him justice in this life, but he deserves dignity in death,” said his uncle who drafted the petition.
The school principal told TOI that the boy was following guidance, both inside and outside of school. She denied accusations of inaction and said most of the accused students had left school long before she learned of the sexual assault incident. “He was a very talented kid. He suffered from mental health issues and we supported him. We even investigated the alleged sexual assault complaint. But most of these students were gone by the time the complaint arose. enough evidence to act,” she said.
The diary was discovered by his mother in their Faridabad apartment on Friday, a day after the 16-year-old jumped to his death from the top floor of his housing company. “This school killed me,” the boy wrote in a letter he left for his mother Thursday night, saying he was sorry and telling her she was “the best mom on the planet.”
His mother, who teaches at the same school, two uncles and an older cousin the boy confided in told TOI on Saturday that he fell victim to the “toxic masculinity” of a few teenagers who made fun of his interests such as jewelry design. and nail art.
“Bullying for years gave him school phobia”
They allegedly mocked his interest in jewelry design, nail art and poetry since he was in class 6 and continually targeted him with homophobic slurs. In his diary notes and conversations with his cousin, the boy, who was dyslexic, said he still felt like a “stranger”. In a poem he titled “Alien”, he put words to this agony. The bullying also continued beyond the classroom, online, which he had revealed to his cousin.
The diary was part of several notebooks, with poems and “personal notes” written in several of them, which her mother found after her death. On Saturdays, the notebooks lay on his wooden bed, unfinished decor on the gray wall behind him where the layers of pastel were still fresh. He was doing his landscape on the wall when his mother last saw him on Thursday evening. “He was a talented child. He didn’t deserve this. He’s there, in those drawings and those poems. I wish I had read them sooner,” his mother said.
Being asked to ‘prove’ his masculinity was a taunt he often faced at school, said the boy’s cousin – a third-year student. “He had grown used to bullying. His art and poetry were his outlets. He would sometimes pour out on me. The same kids, who in grades 3 and 4 made fun of his dyslexia, targeted him on sexuality. “He’ll call me and tell me he doesn’t even know what homosexuality is. But he was fighting it all. But the sexual assault had a profound impact on his psychological health,” she said. declared.
The sexual assault, which his mother said she raised with the school in an email last August after learning about it, allegedly happened before the March 2020 lockdown. “After a physical education lesson, he had gone to the bathroom and four boys followed him.
They locked the restroom, blindfolded her, tied her hands, and plugged her ears. They asked her to perform a sexual act. When he refused, they pulled his pants down. They even threatened that if he spoke they would sexually abuse me,” his mother said on Saturday. “These boys who bullied him, insulted him and even said he was the reason I divorced killed him. And the school authorities, who despite my repeated complaints did nothing, helped them kill my son,” she added.
Frightened and traumatized, the boy did not reveal any of this to anyone, not even his mother. But this plunged him into clinical depression. During the lockdown, while classes were online, he had a break, according to his cousin. Months away from school helped the teenager, who had developed a “school phobia”. He started seeing a therapist, which helped him cope with his panic attacks. It took her more than a year and several counseling sessions to finally tell her mother about the sexual assault incident at school, her family said.
“He never wanted to go back to that school again. He was so grateful for Covid because the schools were closed. And just as the school was reopening he was telling me he was nervous to face those bullies” , said the boy’s friend, a resident of the same Faridabad company who studied in the same school until 2020.
The impact of this on his mother weighed heavily on his mind. “He used to tell me that he felt guilty that his mum, who is a single mum, was going through a lot because of him. It all made him feel even more like he was getting her into trouble. “said his cousin.
But the thought of going back to school filled him with agony. “In his little room, he had built his world. The kitten (his pet) made him complete. We were happy to see him finally happy and coming out of depression. He was responding well to therapy sessions. He ended his life just as the students were starting to come in,” says his maternal uncle.
The boy’s parents and friends have launched an online campaign to demand justice for him. “It was a preventable incident. We keep hearing that big schools have mental health counselors and are sensitive to these kids and their issues. But here’s a classic case of ignorance. Teachers knew he was a victim of intimidation and yet have chosen silence. I will not do him justice in this life, but he deserves dignity in death,” said his uncle who drafted the petition.
The school principal told TOI that the boy was following guidance, both inside and outside of school. She denied accusations of inaction and said most of the accused students had left school long before she learned of the sexual assault incident. “He was a very talented kid. He suffered from mental health issues and we supported him. We even investigated the alleged sexual assault complaint. But most of these students were gone by the time the complaint arose. enough evidence to act,” she said.
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