Prenuptial counseling has the potential to benefit your marriage in the long run.
Consider this common scenario:
You went through the first phase of dating and you went from a place where you loved each other to falling in love with each other.
As you prepare for marriage, conversations with your loved one are more focused on the future, interspersed with questions such as, “Do you think you might want to have kids someday?” Or “Where is your ideal place to live?” “
As your feelings for each other deepen, you realize that you want to be a part of each other’s daily lives. Now you talk about making those thoughts of long term engagement come true.
Before stepping down the aisle, prenuptial counseling could be a critical step in ensuring a successful and healthy relationship.
What happens in the prenuptial counseling?
Prenuptial counseling is a type of couples therapy in which you and your partner can build a solid foundation before you say “Yes”.
Typically, prenuptial counseling provides a platform for communicating expectations and exploring individual differences. You can clarify your purpose of being together and create a vision for a relationship that meets both of your needs.
Prenuptial counseling isn’t just for engaged couples, it can begin as soon as you and your partner decide you want a committed relationship.
How is prenuptial counseling a relationship saver?
While you are in the learning phase of your relationship, you probably have blinders when it comes to seeing each other’s strengths and weaknesses, pleasures and troubles realistically.
Through counseling, you can see your future spouse more clearly as well as their character and values.
When areas of conflict arise, prenuptial counseling will prepare you to understand and deal with your differences.
Investing in your relationship through counseling is common sense, as chances are you haven’t learned skills like how to fight fairly or deal with the ebb and flow of sexual desire.
Additionally, you or your future spouse may have been raised by distant, loveless, or perhaps quarrelsome parents in their marriage.
If this is true, then you have not been provided with a model of a healthy marriage or relationship in which partners put each other first, value transparency, and build on each other. others.
If you’ve been heartbroken in previous relationships, you might be hesitant to say “yes”. Working with a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in prenuptial counseling can help you deal with fears and concerns about what a long-term relationship can bring.
You may feel less skeptical and have more hope that the person you love can support you and that you are both worthy of long-term love.
What can you expect when you start a premarital consultation?
You may have pre-wedding questions that you would like answered before you get married. Whether it’s your first marriage or you’ve been married before, your counselor will want to discuss your counseling goals with you.
They may meet with you one-on-one to discern your background and relationship history before they meet you as a couple.
You may be asked to complete a compatibility survey that addresses areas of agreement and potential differences within your relationship.
How long is the prenuptial counseling?
Sessions typically last 60 to 90 minutes. You may find that seeing a mental health professional for three to five sessions is sufficient for your needs.
Couples who wish to do a more in-depth exploration may prefer additional sessions. On average, couples spend about eight hours in pre-marital counseling to prepare for marriage.
Common topics covered in premarital counseling include promoting clear communication, sexual intimacy, decision making, money management, extended family relationships, spiritual / religious beliefs, cultural influences, parenthood and step-parenting, and the ingredients of a healthy relationship.
The Long-Term Benefits of Prenuptial Counseling.
Couples who seal their commitment aim for a happy marriage. Prenuptial counseling is one step that will help you achieve this goal.
In fact, research shows that couples who took counseling before getting married have a 30% higher marital success rate than those who did not.
If you and your partner complete the premarital consultations and come across a dealbreaker, you could save yourself the pain of divorce later on.
Finally, talking now with your partner about all aspects of dating will likely increase your relationship satisfaction and create deeper intimacy.
Types of pre-marital counseling available.
Access to counseling has never been easier with the addition of online assistance via telehealth.
You can contact a local counselor or consult a directory of counselors – like the PACT Institute, American Psychological Association, and PsychologyToday – and hire a professional counselor, even if they live in another state.
Catholic prenuptial counseling is also an option, and it is available in many churches, synagogues, or spiritual communities across a wide range of belief systems.
If finances are an issue, contact your local mental health center, employee assistance program, nonprofit, or college / university. Clinics at these facilities often use a sliding scale based on income to determine fees.
Before making your selection, meet with each advisor candidate by phone or online.
Most counselors offer a free brief consultation to help you decide if they are right for you. Be sure to ask if premarital counseling is a specialty in their field, and ask about the type of training they have received to prepare them to work with couples.
Check that the advisor is licensed. Registered psychologists, clinical social workers, marriage and family therapists, and mental health counselors are all potential candidates to consider for pre-marital counseling.
You will spend months or maybe a year or more making decisions about all the details of your marriage. Isn’t investing time to strengthen your relationship with your future life partner just as worth it?
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Dr Beth O’Brien is a licensed psychologist who specializes in counseling couples and has helped countless couples create healthy and secure marriages.
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