When Sophia Larson and Sam Parrott moved to Philadelphia in the summer of 2020, the young couple quickly realized they needed help navigating COVID-19 cohabitation. Shortly after moving into their duplex, the two, then both in their mid-twenties, began couples therapy.
“A new city and the stress of the pandemic definitely played a part in our decision,” said Larson, now 26 and a Ph.D. student, told the Post. “The dishes too. We took to cooking during the pandemic and we don’t have a dishwasher. Sam ends up doing the dishes a lot more than me, so sharing responsibility is something we talk about a lot in therapy.
The couple were initially eager to seek help, but after starting therapy in March 2021 they quickly came to see it as a matter of basic life support. Plus, with their insurance, it’s a relatively reasonable $40 per session.
“It’s something everyone should do to prevent problems and fix surface issues like washing up that you might not think is a big deal right now, but could lead to a bigger problem. later when you talk about life goals and family planning,” Parrott, 28 and an engineer, said. “I think if you live together, couples therapy is necessary. Even the most perfect people need it.
It has long been assumed that couples therapy is something that middle-aged married couples secretly seek out to deal with an affair or major discomfort. But Gen Z is jumping on the proverbial shrink couch in tandem soon after jumping into bed together. They seek professional help in their twenties, before they get married or even become engaged – without shame or reservation. Many see the trend as a positive development, but others wonder if a generation obsessed with getting the job done and getting the job done is investing too much time and money in relationships that are troubled from the start.
“During the pandemic, I have personally seen at least half a dozen young people
couples. I saw couples who had been dating for as little as nine months,” said Jessica January Behr, a PhD in psychology and a licensed psychologist in New York. There’s “pride and a cool factor in going to therapy right now,” she added. “It shows that you are thoughtful and emotionally open. These are values that are close to the heart of Generation Z.”
But, Behr doesn’t think his patients were too early in their relationships to benefit. “20-year-old couples [in my practice] work together to build strength in the relationship and find emotional processing and vulnerability as a way to build connection rather than resolve major trauma,” she said.
The younger generation is more open to therapy in general, not just couples counseling. The American Psychological Association reported in 2018 that 37% of Gen Z seek one-on-one advice, compared to 35% of Millennials. On TikTok, therapeutic posts tagged #mentalhealth have been incredibly popular, garnering over 20 billion views .
Not all 20s follow the trend. When Preston, Minn., teacher Molly Kelly, 29, and her then-boyfriend were having trouble a few years ago, he suggested couples counseling, but she objected. Eight months later, the two separated. Kelly has some regrets.
“At the time, I thought couples therapy was only for people with huge problems in their relationship and I didn’t think that was the case,” she said. “I realize now that it would have been nice to give him the space to talk about his concerns.”
Larson and Parrott, meanwhile, have no qualms about going to therapy and letting everyone know. The couple, who first met five years ago at a party, often do their weekly virtual sessions when hanging out at their parents’ house.
“Sam and I are going to tell our families we’re going upstairs to talk to our therapist,” Larson said. “Nobody ever asked us, ‘Are you okay?’ or ‘Do you fight a lot?’ They find it admirable that we are working on our communication with each other.
Jen Glantz, relationship expert and founder of Bridesmaid for Hire and the First Years of Marriage newsletter, doesn’t think young couples should be rushing into therapy. She suggested waiting six months for things to improve before seeking help, and not being afraid to let go before that.
“If you don’t feel safe with someone you’re in a relationship with, listen to your instincts,” Glantz said. “Don’t wait for couples therapy if you’re feeling intense, heartbreaking anxiety when you’re with this person.”
Jonathan Alpert, a psychotherapist in New York and author of “Be Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 Days,” noted that he’s brought in couples who clearly need little or no therapy.
“I tell them after a session or two that I think they’re fine,” he said. “Often couples just need a session or two to learn better ways to communicate.”
And, he conceded, seeking therapy early on could be a warning sign that the relationship just isn’t good.
“That could potentially be a red flag,” Alpert said. “But it could also suggest that they care about the relationship, are introspective and driven to improve.”
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