Generally, a low EI means that a person has difficulty recognizing, understanding, and responding appropriately to their own emotions and those of others.
Psychologist and writer Daniel Goleman has identified
Self-awareness
Self-awareness refers to people’s awareness of their personality, feelings, and behaviors. If a person is aware of himself, he understands why he thinks, feels and acts the way he does.
A person with low self-awareness may not understand their feelings and reactions in a given situation.
Examples
High EI: A person is trying to explain something to a colleague. The co-worker has difficulty following the explanation because the person is going off topic. The person realizes that they can sometimes go astray, so they apologize and start over.
Low EI: In the same scenario, the person becomes frustrated when his colleague does not follow what he says. The person accuses his colleague of not paying attention.
Self-regulation
People with good self-regulation can control and manage their emotions appropriately. A self-regulating person thinks before they act and does not react impulsively.
People with poor self-regulation may be prone to emotional outbursts and may act without thinking.
Examples
High EI: A person orders food in a restaurant. The food takes a long time to arrive, and when it does arrive, it’s the wrong dish. The person is a little disappointed but understands that the restaurant is busy and mistakes can happen. They calmly inform their server of the problem and wait for them to correct the order.
Low EI: In the same scenario, the individual gets angry with his server. They blame the waiter for the problem with their food and storm out of the restaurant.
Motivation
Motivation refers to a person’s desire to achieve certain goals. If someone is motivated, they aim to succeed and improve. Highly motivated people generally value personal growth over immediate reward.
If a person is unmotivated, they may find it difficult to get things done. Low motivation can cause someone to abandon their goals.
Examples
High EI: A person hopes to open a cafe one day. After years of hard work, they open a small cafe, thus achieving their goal.
Low EI: The person starts working on their goal of owning a cafe but soon realizes that running a business is hard work. They give up owning a cafe and settle for an easier job.
Empathy
Empathy is a person’s understanding of someone else’s feelings or situation. If an individual is empathetic, they can see things from someone else’s point of view. Having empathy allows someone to be sympathetic to the feelings and needs of others.
A person with low levels of empathy does not understand how others are feeling. They may have trouble understanding how their actions can affect other people.
Examples
High EI: A person’s friend is stressed about an upcoming test. The person knows how much passing this test means to their friend, so they listen to their friend’s concerns and try to offer words of comfort and support. They ask if there is anything they can do to help their friend prepare for the test.
Low EI: In the same scenario, the person doesn’t understand why their friend is so worried about a test. They are upset that their friend is not coming to a party with them instead of studying.
Social abilities
Social skills enable people to interact appropriately with others.
A person who has poor social skills may have difficulty communicating with other people and may find it difficult to establish or maintain relationships.
Examples
High EI: A friend introduces someone to their new partner. The person makes their friend’s partner feel welcome and includes them in their conversations.
Low EI: In the same situation, the person makes rude jokes about his friend’s new partner and does not notice that his friend is uncomfortable with the jokes. When the friend finally asks him to stop making jokes, the person becomes defensive and angry.
It can be difficult for a person to develop and maintain a relationship with someone who has a low EI. Here are some methods that can help people maintain and improve such relationships. It is important to note that these are only examples. People may wish to try other methods that are specific to their individual relationship or situation.
Accept the person as they are
It can be difficult to accept the negative aspects of a person’s personality. One way to approach this is to focus on the positive aspects of their personality instead.
Encourage change
It may be possible to help someone improve their EI by gently encouraging certain changes, such as de-stressing and self-soothing strategies.
A person could also try to lead by example. For example, if a difficult situation arises, they might try to show someone with low EI how to handle the situation.
Make the effort to listen
People with low EI can easily become frustrated if they feel like they are being misunderstood. One person can help keep the other person calm by listening and engaging with what they are saying.
Focus on the facts
A person with low EI may find it difficult to recognize what other people are feeling. When speaking with a low EI person, people can avoid confusion by focusing on facts rather than emotions. They might try to tell the low EI person exactly how they are feeling, rather than expecting them to pick up on their emotional cues.
Having a low EI means that a person has difficulty recognizing and understanding their emotions and those of others. People with low EI may also have poor emotion regulation and have trouble using their emotions to achieve personal goals. These issues can make it difficult for people with EI to establish and maintain personal relationships.
Individuals may find certain strategies useful when interacting with someone who has low EI. Examples include accepting someone as they are, helping the person understand how to behave in certain situations, and communicating to the other person how they are feeling using words rather than subtle behavioral cues.
People can improve or develop their own IE in various ways. For example, recognizing how the body reacts to certain emotions, questioning others about their thoughts and feelings, and learning to apologize in case of wrongdoing.
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