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Most of us have a New Year’s resolution in mind, even if we don’t say it out loud. The trick is to make it stick.
We want to accomplish something or make improvements. Maybe we want to lose weight, change jobs, quit alcohol, or even find a lifelong companion.
One of the biggest reasons people don’t achieve their goals and dreams is because they don’t ask what they want – they ask what they think they should want. Their heart is not necessarily in the game.
When I first started studying Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), I came across Tony Robbins’ training. He says, “You get what you focus on. Her advice fits well with NLP ideas, so I started to create an exciting and compelling vision for my future. I envisioned a hot and dry house, a reliable vehicle, a source of income that would take the worry out of money, doing what I love, talking to groups of people, etc.
But there were problems. I didn’t really believe this would happen for me. I was afraid of failing. In fact, the main thing that made me pursue the visions I focused on was my fear of financial collapse.
Whoops! I thought I understood that focusing on positive mental images would bring them into my life. But I had misunderstood the word “concentration”.
What I discovered very quickly is that what you focus on increases your chances of success.
Concentration is a combination of thought and emotion. Anything that you think of with a strong emotion will increase in your experience over time. Worrying too much about your credit card debt will not solve the problem. The combination of thought and emotion contained in worrying is likely to increase debt. Instead, you should focus on the solution and the benefits, not the problem.
Conversely, if you want to get lean, fit and healthy, imagine how great you will feel when you reach that ideal weight, and how great you will feel throughout the trip. As if by magic, you will start to lose weight. It’s all about point of view.
So how can you make this idea work for you in 2022?
Best intentions
Make sure your intentions are something you want rather than something you want to avoid or stop. Our brains have trouble processing negative or missing information, so knowing that you don’t want to smoke anymore doesn’t necessarily help. Rather, you have to know what you want. Language creates context for our brain. If we tell someone, “Don’t drop the glass,” they’re more likely to let go while the brain is processing what you just asked them not to do.
Take control
Make sure the goal is under your control. The more something is under your control, the more your efforts will translate directly into results.
And when you focus on the next step in achieving something important, you will often go further than when you focus on the result.
Make it tangible
Your goal will be more powerful if you turn it into something that you can see, hear, and feel. Everything in your brain has passed through your senses. Likewise, your brain processes information and ideas using sensory data in a very real and specific way. When you think of all the people who annoyed you, you don’t think of all the people; you are thinking of specific people and probably a specific person.
Have a clear goal
Be specific, not vague. When you set a goal, your brain doesn’t understand happiness, success, or challenge. As a test, try this. When your coworker goes to the sandwich shop, ask for the best sandwich or the most interesting sandwich and see what you get.
Feel good about your goal
Finally, your goal should be free from side effects and unintended consequences. When you imagine achieving your goal, do you feel good?
Be honest with yourself. If the feeling is somehow out of balance or not quite right, narrow down the goal until it feels good to think about reaching it. When you decide what you want, you see it, hear it, and feel it, and it feels good. At this point, you are already halfway to reaching it.
If you want to achieve your goals in 2022, focus where you need to be.
Faith Wood is a professional novelist and speaker who strives to help groups and individuals manage conflict, change perceptions and improve communications.
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