Although living in a world where it seems people rather talk to each other, peacemaking spaces still exist for people who want to better manage their conflicts – whether in a marriage, with friends, in a location. of work, on a social network nurture or even in his own heart.
One of those organizations is Peacemaker Ministries, based in Spokane Valley, a nonprofit organization that teaches Bible conflict resolution.
P. Brian Noble, executive director of Peacemaker since 2017, says peacemaking does not mean that people cannot, or should not, have an opinion or a point of view, or that one cannot not confront someone when they are offended in order to keep the peace. .
“Some people think our peacemaking (process) means ‘I’m just going to lay down and sweep everything under the rug,'” Noble said. “It’s not that at all. I mean Jesus is the Prince of Peace, and yet sometimes he would say, “You hypocrites! He was very truthful but very loving at the same time.
He also adds that humility is an essential characteristic necessary to create peace in the midst of conflict.
Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary defines humility as “the quality or condition of not thinking that you are better than others”.
Noble, in his book “The Path of a Peacemaker: Your Biblical Guide to Healthy Relationships, Conflict Resolution, and a Life of Peace” further delineates humility from his more pastoral perspective.
He writes: “I like to say this: ‘When humility comes into the room, Jesus wins.
While 98% of Peacemaker’s clients are Christians, churches, and other Christian ministries in need of help managing conflict, they will work with anyone who asks for their help.
“Anything that has the word conflict around it, we’re dealing with it,” Noble said.
Founded in 1982 as the Christian Legal Society by Ken Sande – author of “The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict” – Peacemaker Ministries today hosts resources (including a free app), training and services counseling to help people learn to live in peace with one another using Bible principles.
They still sell and use Sande’s legacy material, but under Noble’s leadership, he and his team added stronger, more translatable language for the pacification process. The ministry is used in 100 countries with the hope of being used in many more.
He and his team distilled the path of a peacemaker into four words, or concepts, to help individuals or groups with a frame of reference as they resolve conflicts.
The first is Story, where the parties come together and share their perspective on the conflict.
Then they Ascension, where both parties agree to submit to God and each other as they work their way through their tensions.
After that, they reflect on their actions and their own roles in the conflict, admit their mistakes to each other and make an effort to apologize.
Finally, the parties connect where they continue in humility to appreciate the other’s point of view and track record and to seek and grant forgiveness when needed.
Noble will be the first to admit that he has often used, and still has to use, the Story-Ascend-Reflect-Connect model of conflict resolution in his own life.
In addition to leading the ministries of the peacemakers, Noble is also the executive pastor of the Valley Assembly of God, and he recently experienced tensions with a friend and another parishioner over a post he posted on his thread. Facebook about how a church should operate in this COVID-19 pandemic season.
“I expressed my aversion to what I felt was closing churches a bit more,” Noble said.
His friend, however, responded by email and referred to Romans 13 where Paul says Christians should honor authorities.
While they didn’t swear at each other or be openly mean to each other, their email altercation was less than gracious. Soon after, Noble realized that he was going against one of his core values in conflict resolution by participating in this email exchange.
“I do this for a living,” Noble said. “I was like, I forget she’s a child of God and I’m a child of God. That she loves Jesus and that I love Jesus. And just because we have a different perspective on it, I’m starting to demonize her in my mind, and that’s not good.
He reached out to her to meet her and, in the presence of their pastor and her husband, they reconciled the tension by listening to each other and apologizing for their role in the escalation. Then they decided to meet again a month after praying and reflecting on the matter for themselves with God, to discuss what they had learned.
After this month of reflection, they essentially changed their position, at least to see and even agree with the other’s point of view while still maintaining the same opinion they initially had that brought them into conflict in first place.
“My argument was sort of like, when you study history, pastors tend to shut their doors on government overrun or perceived government overrun. And there are consequences to that, ”Noble said.
His friend’s point was that while it may be true, when he spoke so strongly about it on a Facebook post without that context, people who hold a different opinion or have serious personal medical issues may not want to hear. the Gospel.
So, both agreeing that each had valid points, his friend had a more gracious mind towards Noble’s concerns, and Noble agreed to share his opinions in larger contexts and certainly not on social media.
Noble believes that one of the reasons today’s conflicts result in such demonization on the other side is that everything is politicized.
“We have become hypertensive at our positions,” Noble said. “And that’s usually because we’ve made our positions our identity. “
He also said, “For some reason our society has demanded uniformity. I never found love to work through uniformity. However, he added, “Unity embraces these differences with respect and honor to the minimum (because) we are human beings. “
In his book “Path of a Peacemaker” Noble writes that all Christians are called to be peacemakers as a way of being, which he ultimately defines as: “Peacemakers are called to be humble, to be peacemakers. to mourn their sins, to be meek, to pursue righteousness, to have mercy and to operate with pure motives. Above all, peacemakers must seek peace.
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