The power to be oneself: it holds the backbone to influence others – The Himalayan Times – Nepal’s No.1 English Daily Newspaper

Talking to people, or not talking to people, for whatever reason, is a matter of communication style. It’s also a matter of knowing your approach.

If you know the real you, you can build the necessary bridges for not only better, but also effective communication, interaction and / or interface.

If not, how – you might well ask.

Wait a minute.

One way to acquire personal, behavioral and communication skills “on the fly” is neurolinguistic programming (NLP).

NLP relates to “ordering” your thoughts, attitudes, feelings, behavior and, most importantly, your language.

It is as much responding effectively to others, as well as understanding and respecting their points of view, opinions, interpretations and needs. Its purpose – to give individuals a multitude of choices in their range of responses.

NLP practitioners believe that teaching NLP is based on a logical premise. That the unconscious as it relates to Jungian psychology is much more powerful than the conscious mind, and that we all already have within us the resources to achieve excellence.

Now for the basics. The “neuro” part of NLP refers to the concept that all behavior results in sensory stimuli – sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch and feel.

This explains why NLP gives us the opportunity to connect with the senses and to be able to “read” the thought processes in others through eye movements, subtle changes in breathing and skin tone and language.

NLP also includes modifying internal conflicts, negative thoughts and behaviors for more positive states. “Linguistics”, of course, reflects the way we use language to formulate our thoughts – to communicate with others our opinions, emotions and needs.

“Programming” explains how we organize our behavior to produce results.

It goes without saying that what you say, or do, influences the other person.

NLP examines and examines the entire feedback and response system – behavioral and biological – occurring in our interaction between ourselves, other human beings, and the environment.

Why? Because we all have internal “feelings” and a sensory system, responsible for processing a set of characteristics, unique to each individual, concerning our immediate environment.

NLP behavior is not only observable external behavior, such as walking, but also activity in any sphere – from eye movement to hearing, or internal visualization.

Example: You barely pulled away from a high-speed truck, seconds before it hit you. In such a case, you will likely experience symptoms of mild clinical shock.

As you tell the story, similar symptoms may reappear. However, the way you react to imagined or remembered events can be changed from a negative experience to a positive one thanks to NLP. That you weren’t injured is a positive result. Inference: all you have to do is dwell on the things that went wrong, but didn’t work – and allow the “self-fulfilling prophecy syndrome” (negative images) to go and come from the action. You will feel better quietly.

You may also think the same bad things will happen another time. But, if only you replace the “bad” memories with positive feelings / role models, self-fulfilling prophecy will work for – rather than against – you.

While practice makes perfect, many techniques used in NLP may require professional support or training. However, a few of them – and the most important – could be mastered, subject to its own requirements, over time.

NLP is a composite theory based on the fact that each of us is unique, but made up of similar physiological, biological, emotional and spiritual parts that are intrinsically linked to each other. Concretely, he captures the linguistic aspect, the style, the use of unspecified nouns, the verbs, the comparisons, the judgments, the generalizations, the presuppositions, the causes and the effects, not to mention the intuition to “read One person – if possible.

All you need to do is apply certain metrics, as cited elsewhere, to “anchor” a positive feeling, such as confidence, by mentally “living” the desired state, for better results. An easy way to do this is to use your touch. Simply press your finger and thumb together, where the sensation is most intense, to pull the “anchor”. The feeling of self-confidence will return.

John Grinder, professor of linguistics, and Richard Bandler, information scientist, became fascinated by the question of how some individuals could claim apparent success while working with various therapy systems. This led them to study the ways of working of these individuals; they also extracted successful elements of their techniques and ‘molded’ them into a set of therapeutic models.

To do this, they drew on the groundswell of their research from various fields – family therapy, hypnotherapy, anthropology – and supplemented them with their own skills, but also expertise, in linguistics, semantics and communication.

The body of research the duo have built for NLP has a number of different components – each with its associated healing techniques.

He seeks to explore the deeper meaning and significance of the words people use.

Likewise, the neurological components of the subject are also treated with the aim of representing their physical or internal experiences from verbal and visual parameters.

NLP is also about body posture, movements, gestures, and shrugs, including how individuals access and process information.

It is suggested that NLP could be used to treat some of the more common forms of psychological problems namely phobias and unwanted behavior traits including childhood social disorders, developmental issues, substance abuse, learning difficulties, hyperactivity, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), relationship problems and sexual disorders, apart from allergy, anxiety and depression.

Nidamboor is a wellness physician, independent researcher and author

A version of this article appears in the October 21, 2021 print of The Himalayan Times.