Why being flexible with your behavior is a superpower – News

Rigidity and strength generally resolve little. Flexibility and adaptability are what is needed



By Delna Mistry Anand

Published: Thu Jan 20, 2022 11:41 PM

When you’re in hot water, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re throwing in the towel. It just means that in a difficult situation, defeat or resignation is not always the answer. Sometimes it’s about finding another way out. If you really care about the outcome, there’s almost always another way to rebuild.

Recently, I watched Toastmasters champion Manoj Vasudevan’s winning speech, “Pull Less, Bend More.” He told her about his mother’s advice as he faced problems in his marriage. “Pull less, bend more,” she advises. Using Cupid’s bow and arrow analogy, the wise mom explained that if you pull too hard and too hard, the bow could break. But if you skillfully bend the bow, you may have a better chance of success.

Not just in marriage, but in any relationship or situation, for every closed door there is usually more than one way out. However, under stress our sense of judgment becomes clouded and we are unable to see any other way than our own. Rigidity and strength generally resolve little. Flexibility and adaptability are what is really needed.

We have seen it for ourselves. So much has changed in the past two years. The way people live, how our priorities have changed, how we consume entertainment, how companies do business, how people sell; change was at the heart of everything. Being able to “go with the flow” and be flexible in one’s thinking is a necessary skill to deal with these inevitable changes and challenges as they arise. Whether it’s starting a new job, working consistently in your current environment, or redefining your business strategy, being cognitively flexible helps us find a meaningful rhythm in life, while finding peace and happiness in long term.

A flexible mind is someone who can react quickly and effectively to external and internal opportunities or threats. It’s the same for an agile company. Rigidity is the death of growth.

The good thing is that adaptability and flexibility are skills that can be learned. But first, you need to bring your attention to the areas of your life where you feel stuck or rigid.

Here are some strategies:

1) What is the desired end result?

In an inflexible discussion with someone, look at the desired end result of both parties. Often both parties intend to achieve a similar outcome, but the approach varies, causing friction. It will probably be easier for you to understand and deal with such situations if you are willing to look at them from different angles.

2) Perceptual position

In neurolinguistic programming (NLP) terms, the “perceptual position” technique consists of placing oneself in three positions and observing three points of view 1) ours, 2) the opposite part (putting oneself in their place) and 3 ) a fly on the wall or neutral observer – this position consists of looking at the situation from a neutral point of view, in a detached way and without being entangled in our own needs (or those of other people). This process really allows us to better understand the situation given the different points of view, and eventually helps us to be more flexible in our approach.

3) Practice the pause

It’s always a good idea to step back for a moment and examine the situation. Journaling can help. Become aware of where you face the roadblock, how you can bypass it peacefully, and what resources do you have at hand? Self-awareness is a super power.

4) Take risks

Sometimes the only way out is to dive. Be ready to take that leap into something new, if you hit a snag. No one has achieved anything substantial without putting something in jeopardy.

5) It’s normal to “not” know

Be in a state of curiosity and don’t be afraid to learn as you go. It’s the know-it-all mindset that leads to stagnation.

The only certain thing in life is change. Those who resist change resist growth. It has been said that the greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change their future simply by changing their attitude. A flexible mind can mean the difference between the flow of abundance and rigidity or obsolescence. Make flexibility of behavior and mindset your superpower.

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Connect with Delna Mistry Anand on social media @DelnaAnand


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