Why we seek the emotional support of Strangers Online

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After a year of being locked in our homes in the midst of a global crisis, the way we seek help has changed dramatically. Sharing your issues with a group of friends at a cafe or bar has been replaced with weekly Zoom or FaceTime check-ins. But with the rise of socio-economic tensions and the reduction of resources, friendly catch-ups are no longer enough. To deal with the myriad of stressors, people turn to social media for support. This is true not only in the United States, but also internationally.

But why is this?

At first, it may seem strange to see people spreading their fears and deepest issues to thousands of strangers online, said Bonnie Williamson, a clinical hypnotherapist working at Canterbury Chestnut Hypnotherapy in Kent, England. But the moment you connect with other people going through a similar situation, it all makes sense.

UK-based entrepreneur Shana Gujral agrees. “There is so much you can tell your friends,” she said. After quitting her full-time job, she wasn’t sure what her next steps should be. It was then that she reached out to a business owner on Instagram, who offered her support and advice.

This type of connection is the reason why Gujral prefers to share its difficulties with online communities. “Your family and friends can’t always help you with everything,” Gujral said. “Instead, you need like-minded communities that have been through the same issues and can advise from a place of experience.”

Take Katrina Mirpuri, a 26-year-old journalist, for example. She was devastated by the news of the death of Sarah everard, a white marketing manager from South London. Around the same time, Mirpuri found a resurfaced story on social media about Blessing Olusegun, a young black woman who was killed last year in Sussex. She was shocked at how little attention was paid to this story in comparison.

“When I expressed my concerns on social media, I realized that I was not alone. Hundreds of foreigners from all over the world have offered their support, ”said Mirpuri.

It wasn’t the first time she had experienced the power of seeking help online, either. “When I posted a item about my friend’s death in nov 2020 the number of strangers offering support was higher than the people i actually knew.

You might think that talking about your personal issues with those close to you seems like an obvious step, but it is embarrassing and difficult for many. Not all families share the same values. Opening up about identity or religion at home can trigger long-term conflict. Not to mention the fact that many young adults have returned to live with their families from whom they cannot physically move away.

Williamson, the hypnotherapist, said, “It is safer to chat in a large group because our problems will be forgotten after a while amid hundreds of incoming messages. You are probably not going to meet these people, so there is very little consequence to what you say.

When 26-year-old Iris Goldsztajn was turned down from a professional opportunity she wanted, it hit her hard. “It was like a momentary shock to the whole body in the middle of a workday,” she said. “I didn’t want it to interfere with the other things I was doing and didn’t know what to do so I turned to Twitter.”

The kind words and emotional support Goldsztajn received after sharing his feelings helped ease his disappointment. “We often talk about our successes on social media and it helps that people also read the challenges people face so that they can get a clearer picture of what ‘success’ really looks like as a process, ”Goldsztajn added.

The need for a supportive community is needed more than ever as COVID-19 continues to claim lives and disrupt any normalcy that preceded these times. “The pandemic represents a collective trauma for all of us,” said Dr Rhonda Mattox, an Arkansas-based psychiatrist. “The universality of this experience made it ‘acceptable’ to struggle and ask for help.

Members of the LGTBQ + community who have not gone out with their families find solace in sharing their truth in safe public forums. Platforms like Clubhouse that don’t allow users to record conversations seem perfect for sharing deeply personal thoughts that you wouldn’t want anyone else to hear.

This fleeting intimacy of audio is as close as it gets to a private face-to-face interaction. This, combined with the sense of anonymity offered by the platform, helps us get rid of our inhibitions and open up in a way that wouldn’t be possible in the kind of high-stakes relationships we have with our families, where a hurtful comment can permanently damage the relationship.

When we’re all in the same boat, it feels natural to hold onto each other for support and reassurance. Support groups have sprung up around common issues such as managing studies with full-time jobs, paying bills after dismissal, caring for children and the elderly after family deaths, etc. . They’re full of people you’ve never met, but immediately become a great resource as they’re safe spaces of like-minded people ready to help.

Everyone is in trouble and we all need help. Maybe that’s why people are more likely to offer their support to a complete stranger now.



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