‘My whole life has fallen apart’ – mum makes huge changes for daughters after heartbreak cradles family

Birmingham mum Lucy Cole lost both parents, separated from her husband and had to move house within a year.

The impact on her two daughters, aged 11 and 6, has been immense, causing the youngest to suffer from OCD and anxiety and the other to bottle up her feelings.

Lucy decided to take action by retraining as a grief and life coach so she could help her family and others.

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Feeling that there were very few inspiring role models for young girls, she wrote a book and journal about a group of characters learning to overcome problems, overcome their fears, and be brave. And she now leads wellness workshops in schools based on her experiences.

“In 2015 I lost my parents within weeks of each other and then separated from my husband,” said Lucy, from Streetly, whose daughters are Sienna, now 17, and Eva , 12 years.

“It was like my whole life had fallen apart. I left the marital home and became very depressed. My daughters lost their grandparents and their uncle and parents separated. to sometimes feel immense sadness and anxiety.

“But my daughters talk to me. I realized that many children don’t know how to express their feelings or are afraid to talk about their feelings in case they are judged or their friends make fun of them.”

Children’s mental health is an issue that is constantly discussed due to concerns about the negative impact of the pandemic on young people.

“Children’s lives seem very unstable right now,” said Lucy, who is trained in grief counseling and neuro-linguistic programming (NLP).

“They don’t know whether or not they will go to school, they may have lost loved ones and are afraid it will happen. We live in unstable times and I think that scares everyone, but especially children. It’s causing a lot of anxiety.

“And more than ever, especially thanks to social media with all their filtered photos, all the ‘perfect life’ photos that say ‘look at me and what I’m doing’.

“When my girls go out, I see them constantly taking pictures with their phones. I tell them to just put your phone down and have a good time.”

Lucy Faythe and the Fearstone’s book is aimed at children aged 7-11, as Lucy says this is when children start making decisions that will stay with them throughout their teenage years. and their adult life.

Her characters are deliberately imperfect to make them more realistic than traditional heroines. In the story, they go on an adventure to the island of Doom Land, help each other deal with daily problems, and learn to overcome problems, conquer fears, and be brave.

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“I noticed there were very few inspirational role models for my daughters, and they had to jump between animated princesses and live American teenage girls, which they seem too young for,” said Lucy, who ran a real estate company with her ex-husband.

“Young children, girls and boys from the age of six, can struggle with everyday problems and the pressures of school, home and forming friendships and I hope my book will help children understand their feelings and manage their mental health.”

“Through self-study and the provision of appropriate tools and techniques, children can change their behavior, feelings and emotions.

“That’s why Faythe and the Fearstone was developed, because I wanted to help my daughters and other children understand and talk about the feelings they were having.”

Lucy is also starting to lead wellness workshops in schools where she will lead assemblies, talk about feelings and encourage group work on creative writing and emotions.

“It’s about getting them to open up about their fears and worries and feelings, to not be afraid to say what’s going on at home,” said Lucy, who recently opened her own clinic on Anchorage Road in Sutton Coldfield, called Love Life Coaching.

“All my characters have flaws, which I think is really important. Everything has to be perfect today, you have to have the perfect look, the perfect photo, the perfect life. That’s not reality. All my characters come from different backgrounds and they all have problems in their families, because that’s life.

“It’s about telling them it’s okay not to be perfect, it’s okay to be scared.”

Lucy has also published a journal for young girls, with advice on exercise and healthy eating, as well as a space to write down goals, fears and feelings.

Lucy added: “No one’s life is perfect and it’s how we deal with those imperfections in life that matters. It is very important that this is installed in the minds of children from an early age. By going to schools and offering these workshops, we can equip our children with the tools they need.

“My goal is to help children recognize mental health at an early age and install positive thoughts and techniques to conquer their fears, build their confidence and reach their full potential.

“I’m really passionate about getting kids talking and instilling that in them from an early age. KS2 are formative years, what they do during that time tends to stay with them for the rest of their life.”

Read more about Lucy’s books here and order a copy from Amazon here

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