Neurolinguistic programming: the basics of NLP

Neurolinguistic programming is an approach that focuses on how you communicate with yourself and with others, and how this affects your behaviors and behavioral outcomes.

Richard Bandler and John Grinder developed NLP in the 1970s after observing that one of the main differences between what they called “successful people” and others was the way they used language to encourage themselves. and encourage everyone.

“NLP is a role model that helps you influence the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of yourself and others,” says Elena Mosaner, NLP Master Practitioner, ICF Coach and CEO and Founder of AlphaMind in La Jolla, in California. “It is both a mental art and a practice.”

This stimulating use of language is believed to help you change unwanted habits and limiting beliefs, improve relationships, and easily achieve your goals.

NLP is also based on the belief that you can model the behaviors of others and, therefore, their outcomes. In other words, you can observe someone you admire and then imitate and internalize their behaviors to repeat their success.

Bandler and Grinder eventually published a series of NLP communication manuals called “The Structure of Magic”.which has gained massive popularity.

Neurolinguistic programming techniques are said to improve your confidence, self-awareness, communication skills, and perception of the world.

According to Mosaner, NLP can be used to:

• programming the mind for better habits
• help change perceptions
• change behavior
• heal wounds or traumas
• improve communication and influence
• become aware of and better manage internal processes (e.g. voice, stories, visuals)
• decrease distress instead of reacting from a fear-based fight-or-flight response

A 2014 research report reported that NLP has sometimes been used as a therapeutic tool for mental health issues such as phobias, fears, anxiety, and depression. Still, the research that proves its effectiveness is limited, despite what Mosaner says below.

“It can certainly address anxiety, specific fears, allergies, emotional blockages, being stuck in life, relationship and communication issues,” says Mosaner, who adds that she has personally helped her. clients to meet these challenges through NLP techniques.

Report creation

Relationship building techniques can help you connect with people more naturally. They are mainly based on the importance of synchronizing one’s communication style with that of the other in order to develop confidence.

A 2006 study suggested that using NLP techniques to build relationships builds more confidence in conversations than not using them.

“You can use relationship building with NLP to help negotiate conflicting views in order to find common ground and mitigate conflict,” says Mosaner.

Key elements of relationship building include:

• rhythm and adapt to someone’s expressions
• lead and persuade
• go back
• bottom liner or clearly indicate where you stand
• actively listen
• remain without judgment

Meta model

The NLP meta-model refers to the question of asking questions about your common beliefs and how you see reality.

The technique is based on the assumption that almost everyone uses cognitive distortions, that is, “thought filters” that make you see others, yourself and events in a more negative way. than they really are.

In general, you react to these thoughts more often than to reality. And you reinforce them with your language.

The meta-model would consist of questions you ask yourself or others to compare what is said or thought with evidence.

For example, if you get upset during a conversation with your partner because you feel like they are always interrupting you, ask yourself how many times they actually did it during that exchange. Then you can react to the evidence rather than your guess.

Modeling

According to Mosaner, modeling is a process of recreating someone’s way of being in order to enrich their own model of the world.

“You can model someone else’s excellence, behavior, mindset, and belief system. It’s a bit like imitating someone. You can magically channel their characteristics and understand how they think and behave, ”she explains.

Mirroring

This method of communication emphasizes the importance of verbal and non-verbal signals.

Reflecting or matching someone’s energy (or sometimes their posture) can help you appear more likable or trustworthy on the subconscious level.

Metaposition

“This exercise helps you talk about your actions, beliefs and behaviors in the third person and become less emotional and less attached to your position on something specific,” says Mosaner.

By consciously and safely dissociating yourself using the meta (or “beyond yourself”) stance, she notes that you can gain more insight and a better approach to a situation.

Six-step cropping

“Six-step reframing is a powerful process that helps you see, recognize, speak [to], and ultimately negotiate between your conflicting interior parties, ”Mosaner explains.

Reframing is about re-evaluating your beliefs and thoughts, so that you can look at them from different angles.

She says reframing is a great tool for making a better connection within yourself and a more rational approach to something that is going on in your life.

“NLP is a great way to learn to communicate better and, in my opinion, it can teach you to think from multiple angles,” Mosaner says.

She notes that developing these skills makes it easier for you to see and understand the perspectives of others. “It helps especially when there is a conflict of opinions and a growing conflict between people or groups of people. “

A 2015 research review showed that using some of the tools of NLP in a combination therapy approach can be helpful in some cases.

For example, a 2010 research review indicated that NLP techniques could help in treating phobias in a short period of time.

NLP is also used in other areas, including:

• Business
• education
• law
• Medication

Practitioners believe that NLP helps you take control of your experiences, rather than perceiving them as things that happen to you. This way you could create your own reality.

Despite its popularity since the 1970s, there is little scientific evidence to support the practice of NLP.

There is also limited research to support NLP as an effective therapy for mental health issues. Anecdotal evidence from practitioners, however, suggests that the techniques may be helpful for some people.

It is also important to note that NLP is not a type of therapy. Some of its techniques, however, could be used in therapy alongside a qualified practitioner.

There are also reviews that the techniques are few, which limits its range of use.

You can practice NLP with a certified practitioner. They will be able to guide you according to the objectives you want to achieve.

You can also use some of the NLP techniques in your daily life for personal and professional purposes.

Affirmations

Affirmations, mantras, or incantations can serve as positive goal statements which, over time, can improve your perception of reality.

Here are some examples :

• “My body is strong and able to heal.”
• “I have all the skills I need to achieve my goals. “
• “I am safe.”
• “I love myself and accept myself unconditionally.”

Regularly repeating phrases like these can help train your mind to believe them on both conscious and unconscious levels.

You can write them on sticky notes and place them all over the house where you will see them. You can also repeat them out loud when you look at yourself in the mirror.

They will not work immediately. So, consider being patient and persistent with assertiveness practices.

Mirroring

The next time you have a conversation with someone, try subtly imitating their behavior, posture, tone of voice, or using the same words they say.

For example, if the person you are talking to seems calm, you will be behaving calmly as well. If their body language is relaxed (for example, their arms are not crossed and they are directly in front of you), so would you.

This can help you build a relationship and can reduce the chances of friction during the conversation.

Modeling

“Let’s say someone wants to understand the magic of being Oprah, Barack Obama or someone else they know, admire or admire,” Mosaner explains. “Your task is to imagine that you are them, to fully embody their presence, and then to ask yourself a series of questions. “

“For example, when I play Kamala Harris, I ask myself ‘what are my skills and abilities? I will go deep into their description and so on.

When you talk about their beliefs, values, and abilities in your own voice, Mosaner says you might start to “install” a new set of beliefs and values.

Other ways to practice NLP include:

• visualization or imaging training
• NLP swish or take on a new self-image to replace the habits we want to give up
• anchor or associate a physical sensation with a feeling, so that next time you can recreate that feeling by repeating the physical sensation

Neurolinguistic programming, or NLP, is a set of specific processes and techniques that are supposed to help you improve the way you communicate with yourself and with others, and its impact on your personal development.

Some anecdotal benefits of NLP include positively changing your perceptions, improving communication skills, becoming aware of your internal processes, and establishing new habits.

Common NLP techniques include relationship building, modeling, mirroring, and cropping.

If you would like to learn more about NLP or work with a qualified coach, consider visiting these resources: