She is the daughter of a billionaire, but Pamela Puja Kirpalani has always made her own path in life. She explains to Yanni Tan why she chose to devote her time now to paying the next one.
Comfortably married and a mother of two, Pamela Puja Kirpalani could have said goodbye to anything that looked like a career from a distance. After all, the 41-year-old is the daughter of clothing-making mogul Sunder Genomal, who ranked 87th on Forbes’ 2020 list of India’s richest people. In her twenties, she had also worked her way up the corporate ladder as an investment banker at Ernst & Young in London, after which she joined the family business, Bangalore-based Page Industries, for two years to put up its now very successful exports. arm.
After years of focusing on her marriage, raising children, and living around the world with her nuclear family, Pamela has chosen to serve others. If you had met her in person, you would have noticed, in addition to her good manners and kindness, a sensitive and introspective side. Perhaps it was this side of her that had kept her from sleeping in her youth: “As a young adult, I have spent so many evenings going through self-help books, thinking about” meaning of life ”and what makes us truly happy from the inside out.
During a lunch organized to present the first book she wrote, titled Whole: 11 Universal Truths for an Inspired Life, she tells me about the extreme anxiety and panic attacks she endured in her late twenties. This pushed her on a journey of learning and discovery – from a multitude of self-healing techniques, to the Montessori method of education (she graduated) and finally to Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). , a field in which she decided to train.
Today, Pamela is an international certified NLP master practitioner, trainer and life coach. After moving to Singapore eight years ago, she set up her coaching and consultancy firm Inner High Living, which has since conducted trainings for some of the most important public institutions in our country, including the Singapore Police Force and the Changi Airport, and has more than 200 life coaching clients. . It also works closely with the Organization of Young Presidents (YPO) and the associated World Organization of Presidents.
Why is this, you ask? Her answer is simple: she just wants to help those who are in desperate need of help like she was, and after years of reading tons of literature, it seems like a good idea to put all the knowledge together in one how-to guide. It sounds logical and practical, and in truth, so is the content of the book.
Whole includes 11 chapters that guide you on your journey to happiness by understanding the science and practical advice behind the virtues or qualities that matter, such as willpower, creativity, humility (apparently this isn’t all). does the same as modesty!) and courage. For example, according to the research she cites, self-control is stronger in the morning but gradually weakens throughout the day, and our involuntary microexpressions trigger mirror neurons in the brains of people around us, so that our emotions are transferred to them.
We tell her about her motivations, ideas from her book and why she chose a life away from leisure and material activities.
Why did you feel compelled to write Together?
I really wanted to show that there is credible evidence and science behind the self-help industry, which is often cited as being “out there” and made up. And I grew up respecting the fields that talked about the brain and the effects of neuroscience on our levels of happiness. With so much cutting edge content in my hands, I thought it would be a mess not to share it with the world. I started writing the book in early 2017 and finished it in mid-2018. It took a tremendous amount of self-discipline and willpower, and a lot of my career ended because I was so determined to get it published before I turned 40!
What were your main considerations when developing its content and voice?
I’ll be honest, I was so scared that neuroscience was too hard for people to get into. So I had to weave a lot of personal stories and relevant examples that could make it more relevant and poignant. At the same time, I didn’t want it to be dogmatic either, so I asked a lot of self-inquiry questions, which would help her evolve into a more “life coaching” style of book.
You have broken down the book into 11 virtues. Which one is the most difficult to achieve?
From reader comments, many people struggle with forgiveness and are actually intrigued by the concept of praying for people in deep pain. This makes the post all the more appealing and memorable – and inevitably creates the biggest shifts of mind. Because if an idea conflicts with his beliefs, it implies that there is something in him that resists him and that they have to overcome it in order to grow.
Chapter 3, on Integrity, speaks to me. But isn’t a certain level of inauthenticity more and more accepted and celebrated as the status quo these days?
Yes, absolutely – the above is true! Human nature is fickle and fluctuates towards the next “best thing.” Won’t people really remember you not for the things you did, but for the way you made them feel? Integrity through speech and character speaks volumes, compared to having 100,000 Instagram followers or a so-called perfect body. These things end up being forgotten. What lasts is how you feel about yourself and the impact and value you bring to others. On a personal note, the chapter on integrity is my most valuable. I could create another book just on this topic.
How can your book also help parents – the tiger variety versus the extremely permissive ones?
For tiger parents, this will help bring out the qualities that made them take on this role – the beliefs they have about themselves (or who they themselves were when they were children) and what made them. really pushes them to push their children to a high level. lifestyle under pressure and based on perfection. For the permissive, again, this will bring up childhood memories of what kept them from going after something they really wanted and help explore self-limiting beliefs that might have come from the past. Because the book is designed to be like a deep dive into our minds, there is a lot of information to be learned for parents.
You are an heiress. Why not just choose the life of a leisure lady?
I am often asked this question. At a young age, I was never drawn to material pleasures – I guess I innately knew they were temporary and unsatisfying. I am fortunate to have very strong family values, and my parents have always emphasized the importance of humility and “work hard, play hard” balance. Never have my siblings and I taken anything for granted, and we are even more grateful today that we were raised this way because we understand that being stable, hardworking and caring to others is the epitome. of a truly healthy life. My parents were instrumental in providing this example.
Is your reason for doing this partly influenced by your social circle and the wealth you are a part of?
I think actually – being part of that circle – has led me deeper inside and deeper to rediscover who I really am and what I stand for, other than my name. It stems from a beautiful blend of introspection and deep levels of acceptance. I really feel blessed to have the best of both worlds.
How, in your current capacity, do you contribute to your family and loved ones?
Whenever possible, I share my knowledge, interesting videos or articles, and self-help material with my family and loved ones on a daily basis. Because I am so in love with this area that it is a pleasure and comes naturally to me. I am also still involved in the family business, for which I lead tailor-made workshops for the different teams, whether it is the sales team or related to the integration of different services.
(All images: Pamela Puja Kirpalani)
This story first appeared in Prestige Singapore’s July 2021.
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