“Many women are prevented from achieving the goals set by their state of mind” – Guardian Woman – The Guardian Nigeria News – Nigeria and World News

Amaka Chibuzo-Obi is a “Life and Confidence” coach who helps shy and self-confident women overcome fear, doubt and low self-esteem so that they can develop their self-confidence. for more visibility and impact. Through her organization, Wivesroundtable, Chibuzo-Obi provides valuable information, tools and resources to help women lead healthy lives.

Calabar University Computer Science graduate with an MBA in Marketing Management from Lagos State University is passionate about growing women and has trained dozens of women to emerge from the shadows and shine their lights. She is a certified practitioner in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), family life practitioner and certified practitioner in positive psychology.

Today, she improves the lives of low-income women entrepreneurs in her community through digital education and entrepreneurship. In this interview with IJEOMA THOMAS-ODIA, she shares her passion for empowering women by building their self-confidence.

Share with us your journey to become a “Life and Confidence” coach?
GROWING UP, if someone had told me that I would not just preach trust, but also make a living by leading other people to a life of trust, I probably would have fallen to the ground laughing at it. ‘them. It’s because I grew up surrounded by feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and low self-esteem. I lost my mother when I was eight years old and, as an only child, her death affected my life tremendously. I went through many experiences which ended up creating many limiting beliefs in me.

Beliefs such as I was not worthy, I was inadequate, I was not loved, I was not good enough or good enough and I did not fit in. I grew up with all of these feelings, practically stumbling through life. I remember I was born a confident and outspoken child, but life and its experiences locked up my voice.

I found myself hiding, not wanting to be in the spotlight, not speaking when it mattered, seeking love and attention in the wrong places, and generally sabotaging myself in various ways. I was that kid who would rather get whipped than raise my hand to answer a question in class, so not everyone is looking at her.

I was that young working adult who mumbled an idea under his breath at an office meeting rather than talking, then got very sad when someone else voiced my mumbled idea and was praised for it. I was that woman who couldn’t give up on a dead end relationship, just because she thought she couldn’t do better. But in all of this, somewhere deep inside me, I knew there was more to me. Deep down I knew I was going to make an impact on the world and transform lives. I know that I was not created to be ordinary, to hide or to be invisible. And so, I started a journey of personal development and training with a lot of introspections. And as I took training and obtained certifications, I gradually started to love myself again. I started to reclaim my power and find my voice. I began to realize that I was so pretty enough that nothing I was doing or doing was necessary to make myself enough. I was enough, just as I was. And with these achievements, what I was called to do with my life in the world became more and more clear. I have been called to be a bearer of light; to make my light shine so bright that I inspire thousands of other women to find the courage to turn on their own light and make it shine, shamelessly, to the world.

What drives you and inspires you?
The need to bring out the best in every woman I meet. I strongly belong to the capacity of women to bring about great positive changes in the world. The need to be part of this revolution drives me. My personal mission is to populate the world with very confident, superstars and very impactful women who are not afraid to shine wherever they go.

Do you think Nigeria provides an environment for women to thrive in their careers and businesses?
It’s no secret that Nigeria is a largely patriarchal society, and in every patriarchal society women have to fight to be heard or recognized. However, I am very happy with how far we have come as a nation today as we see more and more women breaking the mythical glass ceiling every day. At no time in the history of Nigeria have we had six women as CEOs of banks at the same time. But we have it today, here in Nigeria. So while more can be done to level the playing field for women and their male counterparts, I am happy that women are rising to the challenge and making bold strides to thrive and be successful in their career. career and their business.

How do you see the cultures in Nigeria that promote primitive laws relegating women to the background, especially with regard to the pursuit of their careers and their visions of life?
Every region or area in Nigeria still practices it to some extent; they have rules, sometimes unwritten, which relegate women to the background. You hear things as if a woman’s place is in the kitchen and in the other room ”. You also hear people asking ambitious career women, “What are you looking for, won’t you go home and take care of your family.” Subtle chatter like this promotes the ideology that women are meant to be pushed into the background. It’s a distorted ideology that Wivesroundtable, and thankfully so many other women-centric organizations, seek to conquer. Education is an essential means of living above them. This is the only way to change the age-old mindset. And by education, I don’t necessarily mean just the formal type, although that’s very essential. There is also the type of informal education that we do in our communities and through the media like the Wivesroundtable talk show. However, the most important aspect of education, in my opinion, is modeling. So when women get down to business and thrive and succeed, they show other women what is possible and they show men who still think women shouldn’t be heard, that women are capable of not being heard. no matter what height they choose to reach.

You are passionate about empowering women across Nigeria. How did you end up doing this?
I have always believed that a woman has a strong influence in every family. I strongly believe in the quote from Koffi Annan who says: “When women thrive, all social benefits and future generations get a better start in life. That’s why I do what I do – do my part to make a better world. And that’s also why I followed a Life Coach and Confidence Coach training for women in order to be able to support women even more to give them the confidence they need for visibility, impact and profit.

Advanced countries continue to value the place of women in leadership and make deliberate efforts and laws that promote gender equality. Where is Nigeria in this development?
The thousand mile journey, they say, begins with one step. I’m saying it actually starts with a decision. From what we see happening around us today, with banks and other organizations providing more women with leadership opportunities, Nigeria has started the journey. There is still a long way to go and a lot to do, but at least we are seeing some promising signs. I am convinced that it will continue to improve.

How do you juggle your distinctive roles?
First of all, I have to recognize the place of grace – the grace of being and doing so much and making it seem easy, even if it isn’t. Then I have a great team of people around me who adapt to my vision and who I can call on as needed on the pitch every time. I am able to delegate and allow those charged with a particular mission to do what they need to do to complete the mission without micromanaging them, provided they have been effective over time. Plus, I’m big on creating balance. I take it one thing at a time. I find what the top priority is every time and focus on that until it’s done or at least, almost done, before I put something else in sight and focus on that. I don’t try to do it all at once because, I know, it’s a recipe for exhaustion, overwhelm and stress.

What advice would you give to young women who want to define their professional career alongside their family life?
As a woman, especially in a climate like ours, many duties and responsibilities are assigned to you by default. Add in marriage and motherhood, and the pressure becomes even greater. But in all of this, I would say – never neglect yourself. There will definitely be times when you feel overwhelmed, running around to be everything to everyone, but always remember that you are just as important. You matter too. You will be of no use to yourself, your career, or your family if you break down or do not take care of your physical, mental and emotional well-being. Always remember this. Also in my journey as a Confidence Coach, I have come to realize that many women live well below their potential. They feel dissatisfied and dissatisfied with their lives, even career women and entrepreneurs who seem to be doing well. And many of them are prevented from reaching their goals and dreaming because of their state of mind, fear as well as their inability to balance their life properly. So I would say to every woman who reads this, learn to put yourself in the equation. Invest in yourself, in personal development and growth. Surround yourself with people who are going in the direction you would like to take. Live intentionally.

What is the mantra of your life?
If it was done by someone, then I too can do it. It’s a mantra I adopted as I built my confidence from being a chronic “low self-esteem” person to being a confidence coach today. I felt so inadequate, therefore not good enough and not capable. But after a series of mental reorientation and personal development, I have come to see that whatever limits I see reside in my mind. And that I can do whatever I set out to do, whatever I want to do, according to my dreams, as long as it is humanly possible to make it happen.